Feel like you just can't meditate

Firstly, if your answer is yes to the title, you are not alone! I won't delve into why meditation is beneficial; you can ask ChatGPT for detailed answers. Instead, I'm here to empathize with those who struggle to meditate and offer practical tips to help you start or resume your meditation journey.

Before you start thinking meditation is not for you, let's understand the challenges behind it. Let's understand it scientifically, while I try to keep the language as layman as possible.

Your brain is connected to the body through your nervous system. The nervous system has two major parts: the ones you can control, like sending signals to your limbs, and the ones which are not in your control, like your heart rate, called the Autonomic Nervous System (ANS). Understanding the ANS is important to learn meditation. The ANS is commonly categorized into two states: "Fight, Flight, or Freeze" and "Rest, Digest, and Repair".

Courtesy: Google images

Your Fight, Flight, and Freeze state is very important, as it saves you from life-threatening events, like saving you from a car accident. But at the same time, deadlines at work, work demands, and family demands can also put us into this state, which is called a psychological danger since it's only a danger situation created in your mind. Now think of the time on your vacation or time off when you had no obligations, when you had a relaxing time. That is when your Rest, Digest, and Repair system is at work. Your body is collecting nutrients from your system, putting them in place to repair, heal, and replenish you.

The Real Challenge:

In these two states, your body feels very different. In one state, your body can easily sit, do nothing, and relax for some time. So you feel like focusing on your internal state. But in the other state, your mind is constantly racing to complete tasks and urgencies; in short, your mind is in a psychological danger. And when in this state, if you ask your mind to focus on meditation, it may turn out to be a big battle!

How do you know which state your nervous system is in?

Notice and take cues from your body:

• Try to sit quietly, keeping the devices away. Do you still have the urge to reach for your phone for a task that does not require urgency?

• Try closing your eyes. Does it feel natural or forceful to sit with eyes closed?

• After closing your eyes, is your mind still racing with thoughts about future deadlines?

If the answer is yes to any of these questions, then probably you are still in the Fight, Flight, and Freeze state, and your meditation practice is likely to fail at that moment.

Overcoming the Challenge:

The biggest challenge is to get your nervous system to a Rest and Digest state before you start your meditation practice. So how can you do that?

• Nature: Go for a walk in nature; it is one of the best ways to deregulate your nervous system to a restful state.

• Breathwork: Certain breathwork practices can help you switch to a calmer state of mind, like alternate nostril breathing, humming breaths, etc.

• Journal: Write down your thoughts. The first few lines might be tough, but once you get started, let the words flow. You'll know when you're done for the day. (This could be a topic for another post.)

• Spend time with pets: Petting your pets is so therapeutic in nature, and there are multiple scientific studies on how spending time with pets can bring you to a calm and restful state.

• Take a shower: Water as an element is very powerful to help you let go of all the stress.

Next time you sit for meditation, take any of these steps to prepare your nervous system first. Then start with 5 minutes of breath focus time, and eventually increase.

Pro tip: Play meditation music in the background; it is a good way to anchor a beginner's mind to meditation.

Even after taking these steps, if you don't feel ready for meditation, then it's alright. Don't force it; it's not the right day for you to meditate. So, try again tomorrow. :)